When Too Much is So Much More

 

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 NIV

I have a tendency towards happy.

Even when I look goofy, y’all.

But, I haven’t always embraced it.

Actually, I’ve allowed a couple other words to linger in the shadows of my insecurities.

“Too. Much.”

And, not in a good kind of way.

Sometimes we go through junk in life that’s not just for us.

In my recent, I’ve ached as I’ve heard those two words repeated by other women.

Beautiful, strong, amazing Jesus girls who struggle to believe their worth.

Of course, you’d never know by looking at them.

They’ve learned to hide their hurt pretty darn well.

The lies of their past left scars upon their present.

Lies disguised are still lies.

I get it.

And, it breaks my heart.

So, in my first blog post in a plethora of weeks, I’m choosing to tear apart the lies.

The ones that others have bestowed on us.

The crud that has held us hostage for way too long.

You know yours…don’t you?

I’ll go first.

I remember the exact moment she screamed those words at me.

I was a rookie.

Enthusiasm was my adrenaline.

Well, she didn’t like my adrenaline.

Or, maybe she just didn’t like me.

BOOM.

Time tempered those two words into cautious confidence, especially in social situations.

I allowed my authenticity to emerge only within my safety zone.

And oftentimes, not even there.

My “too much” transformed into my “never enough.”

Some words spoken in a split second can stick to our souls.

It’s time to let them go, sweet friend.

It’s time to heal.

When we try to please everyone, we please noone, not even ourselves.

These days and by the grace of God, I don’t believe those lies anymore.

Sure, they’re going to return, but I’m more ready…and willing…to call them out.

I deeply desire the same for you.

We are all carrying something that isn’t ours to lug around, anymore.

That thing that isn’t kind.

That thing that isn’t true.

That thing that isn’t love.

Yes, we can always strive to become better humans.

Mama used to say we grow until we die.

Gosh, I want to.

Let’s begin by looking within.

Freedom flows from a surrendered soul.

How about we make a pact?

Not to live our lives according to the handbook of what “they” say.

Jesus has a better plan.

And, He doesn’t lie.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

These days I crave to be so much more.

So much more hope.

So much more love.

So much more Jesus.

Y’know, Jesus loved people who hated Him. (Not gonna lie, that one is still a work in progress for me.)

Yet, if I am too much, then let it be for Him.

Not in a pushy holier-than-thou sort of way.

No way.

Rather, in a love-drenched-one another-love sort of way.

Right on.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18 NIV

I want my too much to reflect the chick God made me to be.

Defined by His mercy, grace, and love.

The kind that makes me happy dance no matter what anybody says.

Beloved, we are loved by LOVE.

His truth is always so much more.

His love is always enough.

Believe. XOXO

Spread your joy,

tina

4 Comments

  1. Hello sweet cousin & friend!
    So wonderful to hear inspiration from how God is working in you; using you to minister to others!!!

    All great reminders & things to ponder, as we embrace a new year with new concerns & some old ones as well. So thankful for our Faithful God!!!

    Love the photo of YOU! I would love to be there 🙂

    Hugs~

    1. Hello Sweet Cuz!
      Grateful for your sweet words and for YOU!
      Blessings and love in this new year and always. XO

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