What I’m Learning in The Missing


“I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” Psalm 116:1-2 NLT

It’s been a season of sentimental.

Too many funerals, near and far.

All too soon.

Are we ever really ready to say good-bye?

Beloved, I see you.

I see you in the missing.

I see the hurt you try to hide beneath that forced smile that satisfies others expectations. 

After all, “life goes on” as they say…

Yet, within the head knowledge of those well-meaning words, our heart writes a different story.

Doesn’t it?

My Mama died four years ago.

I am still in the missing.

Yet, my journey doesn’t look the same now as it did then.

It’s sprinkled with less ache and more heart.

More healing.

More hope.

Mind if I share a bit about what I’ve learned along that unwanted road in the missing?

What I’m still learning.

Take my hand, friend…

Time is Tender.

In addition to “life goes on”, there were three other cringe-worthy words I didn’t want to hear:

“It takes time.”

Sometimes words intended to convey comfort can make us feel downright uncomfortable.

You know?

Truth is…they’re true.

Still, it’s hard to hear about the future when nothing looks normal in the now.

Not one thing.

We crave the familiar, but it’s impossible to rush the healing of our hearts.

Wonder why?

“It takes time.”


So, what do we do in the meantime?

Live, dear one.

Live each day the best that we can.

However that looks.

Cling to God’s comfort.

Linger in His love.

And, instead of isolation that invites loneliness to grow, bring others into our missing.

Peeps, we need each other.

Speaking from experience here.

Eventually, empty will overflow with His peace.

Peace that is beyond our understanding.

In His perfect timing and oh, so tender.

Just like His love.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18 NLT

Comfort Comes in The Unexpected.

I remember going to Mama’s favorite breakfast spot not long after she died.

I felt hallow — in body and in spirit.

That’s when a fav waitress appeared at my table and scooted next to me on that lonely booth bench.

She brought more than coffee.

She shared that her Mama recently died too and something unexpected shook up my soul.


Yes, amidst the aroma of pancakes and crispy bacon, a beautiful thing happened.

Comforting another soul comforts ours.

It really does.

This wasn’t an isolated incident or random moment.

It was a Divine Appointment.

God is close to the brokenhearted, y’all.

And, my heart was in pieces.

Man, it would have been so much easier to stay home and hang out with my mourning that morning.

But, when I baby-stepped out of with my sorrow, others stepped in with love.

Such incredible one another love.

Not just that day at Bob Evans.

But, all through my missing.

Even now.

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”  2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT

Love Lives On.

The missing changes our daily, doesn’t it?

It rearranges our calendars without our permission.

I remember when we bought Mama a cell phone.

She carried hers to keep us close.

I carried mine to give me comfort.

We called each other every single day.

About everything and about nothing.

And, one of my greatest fears in the missing has been that I’ll forget things about her.

Her voice, her wisdom, her giggle…

Her love.

You understand.

Well, those are lies, sister.

Love doesn’t die just because a person does.

It may look different.

It may feel different.

But, that love is more alive than ever before.

It lives on in exhilarating expectation of a heavenly reunion someday!

Jesus defeated death when He rose up from that grave.

It’s that everlasting life stuff that’s ours for the taking.

It’s free.

It’s freedom, friend.

All we have to do is believe.

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NLT

I see you in the missing, precious.

I really do.

And so does our Heavenly Father.

Through this season…perhaps the hardest one you’ve ever been through…He is carrying you.

He is comforting you and me with His love.

When we feel it.

When we don’t.

Because, let’s be real. Sometimes we just don’t.

Ahh, but someday, in a random-not-so-random-moment you can’t imagine yet, your missing will make room for another.

You’ll lend your strength to someone else’s sorrow.

You’ll comfort sadness with one another love.

You’ll give hope by sharing your story.

And, your tears will blink with great joy…

In anticipation of seeing that loved one again someday in heaven!

Where there’s no more missing.

What a day, glorious day, that will be.

Keeping your hand in mine, beloved.

Praying sweet peace to your soul. XOXO

Spread your joy,



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